there's a burning in your heart
by Like A Dove
Summary: Finn finds Rae's old suicide note.


Finn had never really had much of a problem with girls. He never thought they were too hard to figure out. They were always coming up to him, batting an eye and asking if they could steal a fag, or sliding a hand up his arm to let him know they were interesting.

Easy. Chop was always irritated with him for it.

And then along came Rae, and she had gotten under his skin so quickly that it was alarming. She didn't touch him, never touched him, and when she looked at him it was usually with a certain amount of eye-rolling disdain.

And he convinced himself that he disliked her just because he was so sure that she disliked him.

In reality, she was still underneath his skin, and he had no idea what it was that he felt for her.

And then things changed, and suddenly Finn found himself thinking about Rae when he should have been thinking about someone else, and wanting to do things that might impress her, that might make her laugh.

He was going to make himself her favorite person since she had so quickly become his.

And then everything fell into place, and they were each other's.

* * *

Rae is in the shower and singing loudly. Finn can hear from where he's sitting atop her bed, flipping through music magazines and chewing on jelly beans. Rae _cannot_ sing, and she hits a particularly high note that she should have left well enough alone.

Finn laughs quietly to himself, glancing in the direction of the hallway with overwhelming fondness. The sound of water stops and Finn sets the magazine aside, thinking he'll nip out for a fag before Rae comes back to the bedroom.

He begins rummaging through her drawers. He'd left a pack of cigarettes over here last night and knowing Rae, she stuck them in some drawer and likely forgot about them.

He finds them quickly enough. And sitting right under them is a note addressed to her mother. He flicks the note open briefly out of curiosity, eyes not really soaking in any words, and he thinks he'll just toss it back into the drawer and close it.

And then his gaze catches the last couple of lines and he suddenly feels cold.

He'd know that Rae had been ill—is still ill, really. She'll tell him about it sometimes, what it was like in the mental ward and how her therapy sessions are going. Finn always listens because he wants to know everything about her, and in order to love all of her he has to love the dark parts too.

He hears footsteps but he can't move, can't bring himself to close the drawer and act casual, because Finn isn't very good at lying.

There's a loud huff, and Rae begins to harp about how he's managed to eat all the jelly beans, when her voice trails off softly.

Finn finally manages to look up at her, eyes large and questioning.

Rae's eyes are just as wide and she has gone pale. "Shit," she blurts out. She moves forward and snatches the note out of Finn's hand before slowly sitting down next to him.

They're both at a loss of what to say, which is rare.

Seconds pass, perhaps minutes, before Rae goes, "That was from awhile ago."

Finn nods, head still spinning.

"It was stupid," she continues. "It was stupid of me to do that, I know."

Finn's hands curl into fists; he's rather not let on to how badly they're shaking. He's thinking about how close he was to living in a world that didn't have Rae in it, and how dreary and gray that world would've been.

She puts a warm hand on her shoulder and he manages to speak. "But you're better?" he asks, desperately seeking reassurance.

She squeezes with her hand. "Well, I'm getting better. Kestor says that it's like a life project, or some bullshit like that," she jokes, attempting to lighten the air.

Finn doesn't smile back. "You wouldn't ever do it though, right?" _You wouldn't ever take yourself away from me, would you?_

Her brow wrinkles as she thinks. "The difference between how I am now and how I was when I wrote that note, is that I feel happy a lot more than I used to." She bumps her knee with his. "And you're a main reason why."

His chest tightens and he stares at her.

"You make me happy, Finn." And then she smirks. "Even though you're a _total_ prick since you finished my sweets."

He smiles back, laughing a little.

Once again, she has made his tongue feel tangled inside his own mouth. He's pretty sure he's traced the way he feels into every part of her skin, and right now will be no different.

He doesn't even have to reach for her hand; she's already holding it out for him.

S-A-M-E.

She leans forward and kisses his cheek and Finn's heart is beating way too fast. "I love you," he whispers, voice so hoarse and so quiet that he's afraid that she might not have heard.

It's the first time he's ever said it out loud.

But Rae does hear. She's always listening, always understanding.

She kisses his cheek once more and answers him by smiling into his skin.

* * *

**A/N:**

**I love this couple and this show a lot more than I should, I think. Leave me your thoughts if you feel so inclined. :)**


End file.
